"Perspective will come in retrospect."
- Melody Beattie, The Language of Letting Go.
In my rough seasons I scrounge and cling to anything I have control of.
Including the desire to know & understand why things happen the way they do.
But when has God ever been unfaithful to me?
When has he ever showed me that He doesn't always work things out.
When has He proved to me He is not always in control?
Never.
When I decide to feel my pain and hope to find healing in little bits
I get mixed up with my emotions and mistake feeling for figuring out my situation and being in control again,
because that's really what alot of our pain turns out to be right?
Our lack of control.
Control is comfortable.
I have been out of control of most of the things in my life for over a year now.
Today I am still out of control.
But this morning I am going to choose to be okay with it.
Because it's a choice, which is my control ;)
ironic? no, God.
& for now, I'll wait for retrospect to sooth my soul.
Danielle Nicole
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