A Manfast & Running.

Lent 2012.
A Manfast & Running.
Two things that make me feel defeated & unworthy.

At this moment in my life I desire deep to the core of me to be respected, and in my realization of this, I have come to terms with the fact that I am also in need of respecting myself, especially my health. I have a habit of being distracted by busyness, and life ramblings, and even, in unflattering moments, distracted by what people think about myself, so distracted that I forget to take care of me. I want to respect myself & my blessing of health by pushing myself to run.

Running, as many of you know, is often referred to by myself as my arch nemesis. We do not get along, period.  However, amidst the battle of aches, pains, and longing for a pool of water either to drink or to slip into in escape, I have this deep secret desire to run. This desire lies when I am not in the act of running, the moments when I find myself urged to sign up for a half marathon, a desire to one day say I have ran one. And in response to that desire within, and a respect for my body, and my health, these next 40 days I want to implement a routine of exercise, and specifically running.

The fast I have chosen for myself for this years lent tradition, is well, let's just get it out there on the world wide web table: men. [synonyms: boys, dudes, guys, bros, male, just in case you needed clarification] Now men out there, this is not a dig on you, or a heart-broken girl vent session. No, this is simply me realizing I deserve more respect from many men in my life, as well as desire complete utter respect from any guy in my future who comes to desire a future with me by his side. I have definitely become guilty of allowing myself to think & feel that I am unworthy of love & respect, as a result of believing lies and disrespect shown towards me through many men I encounter, even at times without their knowledge of doing so. In response to this part of my life, I don't want to hate, or to slam boys. I just want to guard my heart a little better, in order to remind myself of a worth I should feel for myself.

Dear the next 40 days,

In you I will seek achievement, discipline, and freedom. From you I expect and seek challenge, truth, and joy. I think we can really impact each other 40 days, let's get real with one another. Ready set go, Day one is already conquered. Now for round two. 

See you then,

Danielle Nicole.

2012.

Dear 2012,

You are quite something do you know that? You have such an energy about you that surges with excitement, potential, and hope. The limitlessness of your possibilities, your dreams, your sunrises and sunsets. The potential of such good, such growth, such joy to become of you is something that is longed for, especially in these last weeks of a year. 2012, you look at me now with faint images of possibility: Dear friends visiting, A 24th year to be celebrated, A time capsule to be opened in July, a possible trip to Africa finances willing, Students graduating high school, a credential program to be admitted into, new things to be experienced, to be learned, and to ultimately, be loved.


In the spirit of the age-old new year tradition of resolution and urge to better one's lifestyle at the turn of a year, some things I want for myself right now are that,

I want to be aware of the way I affect those around me
I want to read at least 20 books
I want to curse less (oops, complete honest confession)
I want to train for a half marathon, ah, big step for me. haha
I want to be ever more true, honest, and genuine.
I want to add to this list all year because, while starting a new year is exctiting and there's no denying it, it is not the only time I want to be better, or to grow, or to try something new. I want to be in constant resolution of my life towards its greater potential, ever-changing, & ever-delighting.


Danielle Nicole.

Rites of Passage.

On a twitter note still, a great friend of mine tweeted some great words this week to his world of followers. He wrote, 


"It should be a right of passage for boys to continuously study Song of Solomon in order to become Men. #RealTalk" 


Now first off, what I love most about this is simply that it is the thought of a guy. Not another of the too-many-too-count mentions from the unsatisfied woman, which I know I can count myself as being in the category of women who are guilty of posting something about the lack of men & surplus of boys in our lives before. Guilty as charged. But that's what makes this post that much more intriguing to me. This comment of critique towards boys of our society is not formed as a nag or a gripe, but instead as an encouragement, or a challenge; a man-challenge, if you will. (I also think you should know I completely said this out loud as I thought & typed it, with extra man-voice emphasis on the "man-challenge" part, just to get the mental picture of my brain process with this) 


This man-challenge, wherever it may have spurred from inside my friend's mind and heart lead to the Bible, specifically, Song of Solomon (or Song of Songs in some translations) This is a book entirely focused on love & relationship. A play-by-play of courtship to marriage, if I may summarize. Now there are many different interpretations of the symbolization of the lyrics, whether is it referring to Woman loving Man, God loving Israel, or God loving humankind. All of which are, awesome to think about, but do not add or take away from the great picture of love that is painted in the words of this book. This book is about a pursuit, a respect, and a cherished desire for another. In these words we see that women were created, & long, to be pursued. And also it is pictured that men have in turn a desire to lead and to pursue, and to be respected. This is what love was created to be; something beautiful, something full of respect, and something ultimately desired and pursued. 


In conclusion of my thoughts on this delectable food for thought this week, is that it should also be a rite of passage for girls to continuously read & learn from Song of Solomon to become Women, who are classy, respectable, and modest, allowing Men to lead & pursue them. 


#Thinkaboutit




Danielle Nicole.

Tweet Tweet #Tweeting.

"I really value honesty, a good book, & laughter. #FactsAboutMe"

Oh Twitter, what would we do without good trending hashtags to guide our hourly updates? Obviously we wouldn't survive, at least without good momentary thoughts, & even some very giggle-worthy trending topics, always up to date by the minute of new happening events. I'm pretty sure it only took something like 72 seconds for #Thingslongerthankimkardashianswedding to surface as a trending topic, oh wait 72 was a number for something else.... uhhh... too soon? haha okay but with all seriousness, when in doubt or in a dull moment there is always the helpful trending suggestion such as this one from a few days ago: #FactsAboutMe.

Although I usually glance at the trending topics, maybe have a good chuckle over some, my typical response is to disregard them & go about my day. But this one made me think. With only 140 characters, what kinds of things do you say about yourself? Something funny? The most interesting fact? Something that does not require explanation? As simple as the tag sounded, 140 character facts about me can get a little tricky. I settled upon a tweet of the first 3 words that came to my mind when I said, "Okay Dani who are you?" Honesty. Books. Laughing. Those three things are what I want forever&ever&everamen.

To the very core of who I am I value honesty. I want people in my life who choose to be honest with me. Especially when choosing honesty is much harder than an alternate option. That is when I feel the most loved & the most valued by another. Through my own learning process I have truly learned the value & respect you give to someone when you choose the harder route of pure honesty. Telling a friend the things they don't want to hear, but that are honest shows the character and depth of friendship. Anyone can tell you what you want to hear, or can say nice things to make you smile, but someone who really truly, deeply cares about who you are will tell you the things that make you cry, or make you angry, but in return teach you about yourself, and your walk in life. These kind of friends make you better, & it is the hard parts of life that grow us into more profound, considerate, and elegant people.

Now beyond honesty, you may as well see me as a nerdy comedy. Beyond honesty I just need a good book and laughter. I want to read what other's have to say. What they think, feel, see of this world. Reading someone's writing, even fiction is getting a peak into their soul, their character, their childhood mind even. So much can be seen of author's in their writing & I want to soak that all up. & after I have soaked up words upon words upon words, my next wish is to just laugh. Just to sit with friends or family, or coworkers, and laugh. Simply own up to joy & to silliness, and to how good life can really get, by just letting it out, out loud.  My cousin, E, & I are on this new kick of the.... drum roll please.... Heytell Voicechanger. (what? you thought it was going to be something profound? Download it, I swear it will change your life.) She & I could, and sometimes do, spend hours talking back & forth in little blurbs sounding like chipmunks, or Yezma from The Emperor's New Groove, when she's a cat. The best part is that every other message is just completely a squeeky, silly, chipmunk-y laughter exploding from the speakerphone, which in turn calls for another episode of laughing at the silliness of the chipmunk laughter.  So silly, yet so necessary. This is what my ultimate world looks & feels like; honest, thoughtfilled, and hilarious.


& to think, allllllll because of a Twitter trend, #thankGodfortwitter.

Amen.




Danielle Nicole.

Twin Hearts.

This girl.

She has always looked up to me. However, I find this rather curious because she has been such a huge role model in my own life for years, which is possibly unknown to her, which leads me to want to share her impact in my life even more.

Because,

this girl is breathtaking, she is smart, her heart is huge, and she has a fierce strength in her that I definitely envy in my ever so frequent moments of weakness. I love the way she lives and learns to the ultimate potential that she can. Living by trial & error, always trying something to learn if she loves it, or if it wasn’t her best life decision, but nonetheless always learning.

Something about the way she dives head on straight into life always drives me to a deeper admiration and desire to pursue that strength and confidence she carries. She is not afraid to be herself, or to change herself as she pleases according only to her liking of herself, not to anyone else’s. And this is why I look up to her, no matter how much older I am. I admire her bravery, & want to encourage her bold, pure love for life and all that it can offer in every way I can. I may have taught her things she loves & appreciates, but I continue to grow into a better version of myself the more & more our relationship grows together. Even in mistakes & seasons of distance and miscommunication, I couldn’t thank God more for her in my life.

Her truth, her humor, and her constant love for me are ridiculous & I am a better person because I have experienced these from her on a radical level.

So thank you E. You make my life more full of life and laughter, & that, is a beautiful thing.

Danielle Nicole.

DavisWhitakerStraubCoyDimanligHongCross

These are the names that make up my family.
These are the names that make up alot of the foundation of who I am.
These names are so dear to me, so intimate, so
The last name on the list was added Friday, and boy was it added with celebration!

Here it is almost Wednesday & I am still missing every second of that wedding night! (shameless plug: 11-11-11 Congrats Michele & Tony Cross!)
What a wonderful celebration with such crazy, fun, memorable family & friends.  Such a taste of why I am the way I am, & why I want to be just that, a solid reminder to embrace even the craziest, or even most embarrassing moments with those in my family. From bridal party duties, car rides to pick up the best dates everrrr, decorating hotel rooms for after parties, the ceremony itself, then the dance floor, and all the way to jumping on the bed with your mom in a hotel room with fiesta decorations, this was one of those kind of weekends you never forget & wish would've lasted a couple more days, (or years, let's get real.) Even in the moments of obnoxious laughter (Mom do I need to say names? hahah), or interestingly borderline sexual jokes spoken by your father, or even the infamous donald duck voice used frequently by him as well (Way to go Dad, hogging all the embarrassing Dani duties), the joy and care and intimacy of family bonds and the way we have shaped each other & continue to grow in relationship with eachother weighs so much heavier in memory.

When I look back & see my baby cousin in a tuxedo & a wagon, or my brother giving his coat to his precious girlfriend. My beautiful cousin in the most breath-taking dress walking down an isle, an adorable flower girl who wants to be my best friend and dance-partner for life. Or my date dance with my mom on the dance floor making her feel young again, while also allowing me to swing dance with my dad, like I used to when I was little & he taught me. These are the memories that make me want that weekend back. It's something about the way that my date laughed through the embarrassing moments of my family event, laughing with my mother with a kind of laugh that isn't out of good manners, but instead from deep within, when humor subsides awkward or embarrassment, but is pure and full of joy. Something about sitting at my Aunt's house & watching cheesy christmas movies, & eating both peppermint & gingerbread pudding just to decide which is better, while the whole time too exhausted to think, but loving the weekend too much to want to leave & go home to bed. Something about leaving the weekend to come back to reality, but still wearing the scarf from the Bride as a gift in a last hope to hold on to the emotion of the weekend.

Love,
Joy,
& Family, old & new.

Welcome to the family Tony.


Danielle Nicole.

Go thick or go home.

Friendship is hard-work.
It requires such an intentional commitment in order to be sustained.
Like the old saying, through thick & thin, a healthy friendship can only mature & digress through both the thick & the thin, the good & the bad, the convenient & inconvenient through hard intentional work & commitment.
And that's the thing, relationships shouldn't be about the context of situations one comes across, or the convenience involved in the interact.
A relationship should be all about the persons involved.
Relationship means an emotional or other connection between people. 
Not between jobs, or between locations, or between television series.
Between People.
All the rest are things that may affect relationships,
but the most important,
the most basic,
the most simple core of relationships are the people involved.

So why are we always afraid to get down to the hard parts & put the people in our lives & relationships first? Why do we pull away when our location, or job, or conveniences are at risk or at a distance? Because it's more comfortable, because we think it will be easier? Truly great things aren't usually very easy to come by, so why not dig a little into the thick, the ugly, the hard parts of our lives & of those we interact with & build a little deeper?

Just a thought.



Danielle Nicole.