Today I did the most incredibly anti-danidavis thing ever I think. I post-poned going to the Happiest Place on Earth to meet my cousins for the Leap Year Day event, to take a nap, but even more.... to run. I know I know, not a Dani Davis qualifying action, but yes, this did just happen. I actually just got done with my run now & well, it feels good, but not because my body loves running (yet), or because this particular run felt good or easy, because it didn't. No, it was hard & I got bored & tired: fact.
But it feels good right now to say to myself that I made a commitment & I am going to remain bound to that. I mean, that's what it means to commit right? To stick with something even in the trials and rough, thick parts of life, or in my case right now through sore hips and tiresome, hard-to-begin runs around my neighborhood. It is more than an accomplishment to commit to anything, especially to those things you don't love all the time but which also evolve you into a better version of yourself. I think if we could all follow through on more of the things we commit to in our lives we could easily watch ourselves stride towards a higher potential.
So here I sit, ready to nap, ice on my hips, water within arms reach to cheers to the day when I can say I held out, or held on to this commitment, to the day when I will be glad I chose running over longer naps and longer disneyland days, and to the day when I walk across a hard finish line & know that discipline is freeing, cheers.
Danielle Nicole.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Monday, February 27, 2012
Cue in Alanis Morrisette.
Irony is a hilarious concept.
It seriously never fails that once you put your foot down & decide on something for your life, the opposites of what you are deciding tend to start creeping in, or working against all odds. & I feel like this is especially true during the season of lent. Just when you decide you are going to give up Facebook for Lent, some insane deal that you can only get by liking a company's Facebook page occurs, or you give up chocolate & you happen to win a months supply of free See's, or you give up men & the one you wonder about decides he wants to let you in. The irony.
But this irony is one that holds power. The power of testing us and our ability to choose what we want in the immediate, or what we want in the long run. A test of impulse vs. discipline, because the things we wanted at a moment would come to our fingertips when we decide to take a step back & withdraw from them, go figure. These moments of irony bring us to a cross road of choosing what we think is best, choosing what is important to us. Choosing if we just want immediacy, or if we want to wait the good wait if it brings better for us.
What is important to me are the people in my life. The people who fill my thoughts and my heart, the ones who walk with me, who live lives parallel, but also perpendicular to my own. Ones who live next to me daily, but also those who live across the country, or even the globe. People who have stories and life to them that make my own story so much more valuable and intimate. I want these people to be happy, to be filled, to be cared for and for them to know it. In this desire for those in my life, I want to be someone who is synonymous to this, who adds joy and who brings care to their lives. In order for me to do this I am learning I must also take care of myself. If I'm honest, I wish I could take care of others & I would follow in place with magic care taken of myself. But if I'm real, that's not how it works.
No, in order for me to bring joy and care to those in my life, I must take a step back and look at how to best care for them. And that's what I did this year when this Lent season came. I don't choose to fast or add something every year, but this year a desire to be physically healthy with an calm, open heart weighed in my mind as a way to extend my ability to care for those in my life. My response to this was a motivation to follow through on this desire that has stirred inside me for quite some time now. I have a heart that has experienced a wealth of trauma, loss, and pain, but that same heart has a tremendous amount of resilience, or fight, for why it beats; for those dear to me. So really, I think I owe it to the strength of my heart and the way it continues to surprise me with strength and more fight than I could have ever imagined myself to have 5 years ago, to really motivate myself in physical health, as well as guarding my heart to allow for a peace and openness to replace the fears and the flight. Even if in the middle of this decision, my body begs me to sleep instead of run, and my insecurities beg me to seek momentary attention from men instead of waiting it out and remembering my worth. I owe it to my resilient heart and my desire to ultimately be someone who brings deep care and joy to those in my life, to exercise and run in this season and to wait the good wait, seeking respect and a reminder of worth for myself.
I think I may even owe all the past pain, & future pain while I'm at it, a thank you down the road, for teaching my heart how to fight, how to not lose hope, and how to love so deeply.
What is important to me are the people in my life. The people who fill my thoughts and my heart, the ones who walk with me, who live lives parallel, but also perpendicular to my own. Ones who live next to me daily, but also those who live across the country, or even the globe. People who have stories and life to them that make my own story so much more valuable and intimate. I want these people to be happy, to be filled, to be cared for and for them to know it. In this desire for those in my life, I want to be someone who is synonymous to this, who adds joy and who brings care to their lives. In order for me to do this I am learning I must also take care of myself. If I'm honest, I wish I could take care of others & I would follow in place with magic care taken of myself. But if I'm real, that's not how it works.
No, in order for me to bring joy and care to those in my life, I must take a step back and look at how to best care for them. And that's what I did this year when this Lent season came. I don't choose to fast or add something every year, but this year a desire to be physically healthy with an calm, open heart weighed in my mind as a way to extend my ability to care for those in my life. My response to this was a motivation to follow through on this desire that has stirred inside me for quite some time now. I have a heart that has experienced a wealth of trauma, loss, and pain, but that same heart has a tremendous amount of resilience, or fight, for why it beats; for those dear to me. So really, I think I owe it to the strength of my heart and the way it continues to surprise me with strength and more fight than I could have ever imagined myself to have 5 years ago, to really motivate myself in physical health, as well as guarding my heart to allow for a peace and openness to replace the fears and the flight. Even if in the middle of this decision, my body begs me to sleep instead of run, and my insecurities beg me to seek momentary attention from men instead of waiting it out and remembering my worth. I owe it to my resilient heart and my desire to ultimately be someone who brings deep care and joy to those in my life, to exercise and run in this season and to wait the good wait, seeking respect and a reminder of worth for myself.
I think I may even owe all the past pain, & future pain while I'm at it, a thank you down the road, for teaching my heart how to fight, how to not lose hope, and how to love so deeply.
They say the best things are worth fighting for, right?
Isn't it ironic, don'tcha think?
Danielle Nicole.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
A Manfast & Running.
Lent 2012.
A Manfast & Running.
Two things that make me feel defeated & unworthy.
At this moment in my life I desire deep to the core of me to be respected, and in my realization of this, I have come to terms with the fact that I am also in need of respecting myself, especially my health. I have a habit of being distracted by busyness, and life ramblings, and even, in unflattering moments, distracted by what people think about myself, so distracted that I forget to take care of me. I want to respect myself & my blessing of health by pushing myself to run.
Running, as many of you know, is often referred to by myself as my arch nemesis. We do not get along, period. However, amidst the battle of aches, pains, and longing for a pool of water either to drink or to slip into in escape, I have this deep secret desire to run. This desire lies when I am not in the act of running, the moments when I find myself urged to sign up for a half marathon, a desire to one day say I have ran one. And in response to that desire within, and a respect for my body, and my health, these next 40 days I want to implement a routine of exercise, and specifically running.
The fast I have chosen for myself for this years lent tradition, is well, let's just get it out there on the world wide web table: men. [synonyms: boys, dudes, guys, bros, male, just in case you needed clarification] Now men out there, this is not a dig on you, or a heart-broken girl vent session. No, this is simply me realizing I deserve more respect from many men in my life, as well as desire complete utter respect from any guy in my future who comes to desire a future with me by his side. I have definitely become guilty of allowing myself to think & feel that I am unworthy of love & respect, as a result of believing lies and disrespect shown towards me through many men I encounter, even at times without their knowledge of doing so. In response to this part of my life, I don't want to hate, or to slam boys. I just want to guard my heart a little better, in order to remind myself of a worth I should feel for myself.
Danielle Nicole.
A Manfast & Running.
Two things that make me feel defeated & unworthy.
At this moment in my life I desire deep to the core of me to be respected, and in my realization of this, I have come to terms with the fact that I am also in need of respecting myself, especially my health. I have a habit of being distracted by busyness, and life ramblings, and even, in unflattering moments, distracted by what people think about myself, so distracted that I forget to take care of me. I want to respect myself & my blessing of health by pushing myself to run.
Running, as many of you know, is often referred to by myself as my arch nemesis. We do not get along, period. However, amidst the battle of aches, pains, and longing for a pool of water either to drink or to slip into in escape, I have this deep secret desire to run. This desire lies when I am not in the act of running, the moments when I find myself urged to sign up for a half marathon, a desire to one day say I have ran one. And in response to that desire within, and a respect for my body, and my health, these next 40 days I want to implement a routine of exercise, and specifically running.
The fast I have chosen for myself for this years lent tradition, is well, let's just get it out there on the world wide web table: men. [synonyms: boys, dudes, guys, bros, male, just in case you needed clarification] Now men out there, this is not a dig on you, or a heart-broken girl vent session. No, this is simply me realizing I deserve more respect from many men in my life, as well as desire complete utter respect from any guy in my future who comes to desire a future with me by his side. I have definitely become guilty of allowing myself to think & feel that I am unworthy of love & respect, as a result of believing lies and disrespect shown towards me through many men I encounter, even at times without their knowledge of doing so. In response to this part of my life, I don't want to hate, or to slam boys. I just want to guard my heart a little better, in order to remind myself of a worth I should feel for myself.
Dear the next 40 days,
In you I will seek achievement, discipline, and freedom. From you I expect and seek challenge, truth, and joy. I think we can really impact each other 40 days, let's get real with one another. Ready set go, Day one is already conquered. Now for round two.
See you then,
Danielle Nicole.
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