More than anything.

What makes importance?

Is money important?
        In some moments it is.
Are jobs important?
        For some aspects they are.
Are days important?
        Not really days themselves.
Are moments important?
        Some can be overlooked, but moments hold a worth.
Are clothes important?
        As a social conduct they serve a purpose, but but not weight in worth.

But what it is that puts the worth into these things is people. Living, breathing, thriving, learning, eating, running, stunning, people. The way their heart strings hum in tune to music and interaction and time. The way our minds connect and form and produce efficiency & logic in a rhythm so unique and systematic to itself. A person is important, therefore a person's money is important. A person is important, therefore a persons job, time, day, moment, clothes, cares, fears, loves, are important.


Are people important?
                  More than anything.



Danielle Nicole.

Benjamin Roses.

I hate the way money controls this world.
I also hate the way it controls me.
I don't want it to, but it has to.
That is the way the system of Today works.

I work, I make money, I live.
I don't work, I don't make money, I don't live(insert adjective as you please, safely, healthily, happily).
so today I just accepted job #4 in my life.
Which makes me want to scream, but also gives me hope.
But hope of what?

..making more money.
to live... with more stability.


Where are the days when we all just grow roses & barter them.
I think I could grow some pretty luxurious roses.
Let's trade & be free.

Danielle Nicole.

Being still.

"The Lord will fight for you...you need only to be still." Exodus 14:14.


Still huh? 
I'm not sure I remember what being still is.
My world is full of alarm clocks, coffee, people who need their coffee, people who should calm it down on the coffee intake, accidentally falling asleep, more alarm clocks, plus back up alarm clocks, sunshine, a phone demanding lots of needs, an empty wallet, lots of nail polish, people who like me, people who feel neglected by me, to-do lists out the wazoo, people who feel cared for by me, people who don't need me, status updates, people who think i'm pretty, people who think i'm someone else, people who take advantage of me, people who love me, oh, & books.
Now, I can't say I hate what my world is full of. 
Lots of those things fill me up, some don't quite do that, 
& well, even other of those things tear me apart, 
but I don't hate it.
However, 
I do recognize that the one thing that 
all of them combined bring me is...
Chaos. 


Being still in absolutely no where in my world 
does being still come across a to-do list, until recently.
Recently due to some interesting health situations & have been introduced (or reintroduced I should really say) to the pace at which my life runs: Maximum Speed & Capacity.
Realizing that I have yet again tried to 
1. compete for the busiest girl alive, or 
2. do everything and beyond on my own, 
before thinking about taking care of myself 
or relying on anyone else, especially the big guy upstairs.


So this verse speaks to my soul when it says, "you need only to be still." Amen to #learningstillness.




Danielle Nicole.

Grandparents.

Grandma & Grandpa,

You two are what I think of when I think of yummy cakes,
& cheese & crackers,
& always, lucky charms cereal.
When I think about growing up i love reminiscing on days of running through sprinklers, kennedy park, & even through your house (hehe whoops! "Close the front door!")
Tea parties, Teddy bear picnics, barbie parties, donald duck parties, & raggedy anne parties are only a few of my favorite events held at your house.
There was lots of dressing up & being able to be anyone and anything.
Flower shows we put on every chance we could made us into rockstars, dancing flowers, & the best dancers on the planet, obvvviously ;).
Make-believe and imagination was always running free at your house.

When I think about what I could count on at your house I think of every meal prepared to the nines
 & I could always expect sparkling cider, and a good slice of cake.
& Then when I grew up I could also rely on you Grandpa
to offer me a beer, your special recognition of us growing up in your household & your eyes.
I could also expect an open invitation to stay the night,
turn the evening into a slumber party on the living room floor complete with extra teddy bear sleeping bags & an extra toothbrush Grandma always kept for us grandkids, thanks for that!

When I think about you two, I really can't think of anything beyond a crazy love.
Love for each other, love for all of us, and a crazy love for God.
Grandma your devotion to your church & to your faith & sharing that with me is outrageous.
I have to admit I didn't think much of it growing up,
But knowing what I do now & working where I work now,
I feel really blessed by you through your faith.
You have really modeled to me selfless devotion & a pure servants heart in the way you walk with God and give & give & give to everyone around you.
& Grandpa,
You have to be one of the most gentle, kind men I have ever come across.
I cannot remember a single second where you have become angry
or even the slightest bit irritated with anything going on around you,
which I must say is a major accomplishment with us crazies always destroying your house!
But honestly,
I have never seen such patience and love from another person
& you are the person I think of when I think of patience and a deep, gentle love.

You two together really have modeled what love really is and how it can really touch everyone in connection to it.
The way you both communicate & continue to love each other daily after 60 years of marriage is incredible and very hard to come by these days.
Your strength, and devotion to each other
and to loving those around you, together,
makes me feel very blessed and encouraged to one day follow in your footsteps.
I hope that one day I can show a piece of the love, adoration, and faith to my own grandchildren that you have shown to me, & for the rest of us here in this room.
I love you Grandma & Grandpa, thank you so much for loving me the way you do,
Happy 60th Wedding Anniversary!


Danielle Nicole.

Struggling.

Lately I have been struggling.

& as much as I hate it, I am so interested in Human emotions
& behavior, especially during times of struggle or trial.
The strength of the heart is something that is very intriguing to me.
"Good days" are refreshing & fun & light, & considered normal even.
But I think its the "bad days" that really hold more weight.
Its these days that our hearts learn & feel & build itself into something beautiful.
Or more beautiful I should say.
The way a heart learns strength & care, attachment & trust is something hard to put into words or theories, but something so easy to feel.

Lately my heart has been hurting, or aching maybe.
My heart desires so much to have honest & authentic relationships.
But I think I am realizing as of late that many of the relationships that I thought were authentic in my life, are turning out to be artificial, "when convenient" relationships.
This ache in my heart is deep.
It runs through my heart and into my body & my mind.
The very core of who I am is wrapped around
core values of honesty & authenticity.
So the realization of the lack of these in my life
is a cause of pain, but also of growth.
I am trying to observe,
& learn from these desires of my heart & this pain.
Because I believe in the beauty of pain,
& the redemption that seeps through pain & heartbreak.
Today I am struggling, & tomorrow is new.


Danielle Nicole.

Oh Friday.

I need to be more proactive about actually publishing posts.
I have tons of ideas & started posts, & nothing to show for it.
Only a promise that there is soon to come.
I need to follow through with myself. ha, Happy Friday.


Danielle Nicole.