"Where are you in your life of faith?"

"Where are you in your life of faith?" --Daniel Pawley, coffee break question of the day.

This question, although I have heard it all my life, is conveniently popping up
e v e r y w h e r e , right now.
So God, Where am I with you right now?
(Right Where I want you.) -- God.
This is what I believe He would or is saying to me right now.

I am broken.
I don't understand why things have happened the way they have over the last three years. But I am beginning to accept them.
I am weak.
I cannot do it on my own & I will never find answers to all the things my heart desires to understand looking towards myself.
I am tired.
My hope and energy has been powered by myself for so long. But it is here in this week, at this retreat, on this snowy mountain is Southern California that I learned, or rather remembered, a valuable piece of the puzzle of my faith that I had been forgetting with the chaos life has brought the past few years.
God loves our brokenness.
Not the despair and the pain we go through, no I don't believe He gets a good laugh at my failures, although sometimes it does seem ironic enough to be divine joke I must say. No, but I do believe that the growth and development that we undergo through pain and trials bring our Creator a smile, even a deep pride in His creation. It is a becoming of our nature, as divine creations that we experience things that would break us in order to mature, and mold, and shape us into greater beings. And in our pain we are often drawn closer to God Himself, which is another piece in the joy God receives from our trials. He desires us to draw near to Him so He can shape us, and in our brokenness this occurs, allowing a divine revival at key moments of pain of life.
Because I am broken, weak, & tired,
I am right where I need to be.
At the start of a revival.
& God is pleased.

Danielle Nicole

Religion & Spirituality.

"There may be some truth to the suspicion that we humans are incurable religious animals, that we are determined to bow down to something." -- Hauerwas and Willimon, Resident Aliens.

What religion are you?
Are you Religious?

This word, religion/religious, has become a barrier, or a blind spot if you will. At the very moment "religion" is mentioned there is a tension that is instantly released into the atmosphere. & why is this? I mean, as Hauerwas and Willimon said, we as humans are religious creatures, and there is so much truth in that. If we aren't claiming "religion," there is a verrry good chance we are bowing to something; money, a relationship, clothing, tv shows, you name it. So how come the very mention of religion brings a flinching wince to one's face & comfort?

We are afraid of committment.
& for this same reason, we are not caused to wince at the mention of spirituality.
No, because spirituality has a safety in it, and a freedom.
A freedom to choose whatever it is that you would like to entail in "Spirituality,"
and a safety of not being put into a box, or stamped with a label, a safety based upon mere mystery of what you are bowing down to.
But Religion, religion is not safe.
It is a committment. A solid decision, that sometimes takes away the freedoms of our lifestyle.
As modern humans we don't like this, we want to be freeeeeeeee, & we don't want to committ to things, that would mean a bigger responsibility than we are genuinely seeking.

Danielle Nicole

Mind Babble.

"We just have so much in common, like we both have 2 dogs! And, we're both from L.A." -- Blonde girl from Lost in Translation, "Evalyn Wa"

It is part of the human condition to cling to familiarity.
Consistency and familiarity give us comfort and security.
We are constantly looking for things we have in common with those around us, always searching for that common connector.

C O N N E C T I O N.

We love to be connected. To fit in. To be a unified part in something.
Because what "fits in" brings comfort and acceptance.

"The very popularity of Endo's novel would seem to proclaim a Japan that is not indifferent to Christianity, but looking for a form of Christianity that will suit its natural character."
--Silence, Translator's Preface.

Christianity in Japan is a Big Mac at a Sushi Bar, it doesn't fit into the culture's character. So what would make Christianity fit in Japanese Culture? This is the question that came to my mind when I read this from the preface and yet, I cannot come up with an answer. To be honest, I don't think there can be a cut & paste fashioned fix that could be done to suddenly form Christianity into a form that would be accepted or "fit" into Japan's national character. This is something I look forward to thinking about on the sidelines of my mind throughout reading Endo's novels this semester.

Danielle Nicole

1st Day of a Last Semester.

“I think a senior seminar course should be about you, more than the professor.”

–Dr. Daniel Pawley.

What is it about me that I would like this course to challenge, or bring out, or dig into?

I think I really just want to challenge my own perspective, my own worldview, the Dani Davis Paradigm, if you will. I want to bring out my interests, emotions, and stream of thoughts running around my mind at a million miles a second in my writing. I want to articulate. I want to learn new ideas, new perspective, and new meaning and articulate what my mind is feeling, contemplating, agreeing, and disagreeing with.

Last semester my life was challenged, altered, and flipped around.

Challenged with death, a relationships end, and a schedule that could make your head spin. I was in over my head in trials, and pain, and no chance of understanding any of it. But over break life granted me rest, solitude, and a great set of friends and family to overwhelm me with care and escape and love.

As this semester begins my mind is on some sort of a new network. All that I knew to be true about life, and love, have been completely flipped around and now, are beginning to be redefined and shaped and molded. God is working, and although I cannot see what is coming at any moment, I can feel a transformation coming, and I am excited. So God, challenge my mind, bring me guidance, and open my heart this semester.

I am ready, set, GO.

Danielle Nicole