The Power of Story.

"All human beings love parables, because all human beings love story.
We live our lives in narrative. We all love stories."
--Matthew Hauge.

Oh Professor Hauge, you and your wise, simple, words, still inhabiting my mind years later, thank you for those.

I have been especially challenged with the contents of my own story recently. I seem to find myself preaching to others about how important their stories are and how they should be shared with those around them to enrich & benefit the way we interact with one another. Yet, sharing my own story seems too scary, like too much of a burden to release to anyone. A double standard at its finest. However, I am facing a thick realization of how false that actually is. I am realizing that I am the one afraid of my story. I am the one who feels burdened by its contents, and I am the one who has named it Unworthy, Gruesome, and Filthy. Yes, it has its gruesome moments, but those are not what the entire story is about. No the story is about something so much bigger, and so so much greater than those things. The story is made up of the journey and all that it

but those are not what defines the story. What defines it is the place I stand today. The place where I can say I have been more than used & abused, wrestled with God more times than I can count on fingers & toes, but in that same place I stand, still hand in hand with a God who has an incredible plan.

 I was reading Bittersweet recently, because of course I can't go anywhere without a Shauna Neiquist copy of something or other on hand.  But while I was reading I happened to read a story called, "Your Story Must Be Told." A story I really needed to read in this season. A story that gently reminded me yet again that my story is my own and also, that it is God breathed.

There is power in our stories.  Stories connect us to people and draw us in close.  Stories have no rules no boundaries no guidelines.  Stories move us, make us laugh, distract us, entertain us, challenge us, and guide us. Our story does nothing less that all of these things. My story is not a story of shame or filth, but rather, a story of faithfulness. Faithfulness of an unfailing God and faithfulness of a girl who knows her God adores her. Keeping that story hidden is the shame, the story is a gift. And this is what I am learning.



Danielle Nicole.

Be Desperate.

We often love conveniently,
comfortably, conditionally, easily, affordably, rationally.

But what about the things that we love desperately?
Aren't those the things that speak from the deepest depths of our souls?
The things that speak most honestly about our dreams and desires, but also directly about our fears and flaws as well.
Those we love desperately have a separate hold on us.
We love them with all that we have.
That makes us uncomfortable in moments.
The thought of losing those things and people can't be imagined without being connected with deeply intimate pain.
And so we stand in fear of that kind of love. The kind of love that pushes our limits and exceeds our expectations.
We cover up our love for those kinds of things by playing too cool for hugging mom, or playing hard to get for that guy of our dreams, or by holding back from our friendships. Loving desperately makes us feel weak and vulnerable, and we are not okay with that.

But what if we overcame the fear of loving things out of our control.
Like loving friends, those who can choose at any moment to love us back or to leave us. Seriously scary, and yet, we love them desperately, just in secret.

How much richer our lives would be if we could love them desperately out loud; without care of love in return. How much more we could offer those around us that would affirm and bloom one another if we would allow ourselves to love desperately. We don't naturally live our lives in relationships to their full potential, and I am not outside of this we. I do not live naturally to my full potential; there are only a very few who know that I love them desperately.

But what if I chose to love more desperately.
What if I chose to look right at my fears, of rejection, and abuse, and abandon, and then choose to look beyond those, at the person those fears stand in front of. Seeing their needs and fears beyond my own.
I think we desperately need to conquer fear. It constrains us, usually in those places we feel most comfort, the places that keep us stagnant.
We were made for so much more, let's live that way, starting with how we love each other; desperately, with all the efforts we're made of.




Danielle Nicole.

Attraction to Detail.

I am attracted to detail.

There is something inside me that is so completely fulfilled by someone's unique & intricate attention to details. That same part of me also draws me in to things that require a deep attention to detail, such as planning an event. This photo might describe me better than most words can. It was taken from a Tea Party I planned for a very dear friend of mine's birthday last year. The very act of gluing lace, punching paper hearts, or of finding delicate vintage beads & pearls to drape across each table adds details so small, yet so very important to me. A hint of burlap, a cube of sugar, the broken handle of my Goodwill treasured tea pot, all of these things are the kinds of things I notice in my daily life. The way things layer, the way things feel, and the way that layers and feelings can add to an event or to a moment of someone's life.

In this desire of my heart, I am attracted to hand written cards, photographs, flowers, language through eyes, textures, and sparkle. And, yet, while details really add a certain something that soothes my senses, the most important details in any event revolve around the people attending. Will they be comfortable? Will they feel at home? Will they feel loved?

These are three particular details I find most important in every moment of my life. I want those I love, and those I surround myself with to feel comfortable, at home, and loved, especially in the moments I am with them. It is in those three details that I feel relationships, at least those I am involved in, are able not only to survive, but to thrive, and to grow, and to mature. I want to grow in my relationships to a higher, deeper, more intimate potential everyday, and I think a good starting place is feeling comfortable, at home, and loved in relationship with those that will allow and push me to grow.





Danielle Nicole.

To Be, To Love, To Eat.

 A Shauna Niequist book never fails to meet me right where I am at, and her latest, Bread & Wine, falls into suit once more. As I finished this book I thought about the times I had first read Cold Tangerines and then Bittersweet.

When I remember the season I first read Cold Tangerines I remember a second year of college with all of it's excitements and unknowns, but also the knowns and comforts of being a second year and not a freshman. It was sparkly and fun and screamed celebration all of the time. There were celebrations for living in our first apartment, for declaring our majors, and for dating our first serious boyfriends. I started my first small group off by having us all dive into this book. We got to know each other and learned fun, little, somewhat surfacy, but genuine things about one another throughout each page turned. 

And then our group stayed together and grew. And life kept happening as it does. Over the course of the next year and a half there were disappointments, and breakups, and deaths that were near to us. And just when we thought we couldn’t handle one more thing paining our hearts, bittersweet came to our doors and as we tried to wait for one another in different parts of the state to come together to read it, we each ended up reading it cover to cover in a couple days and bursting into confessions when we finally met faces. Bittersweet pulled us up from the graves we were stuck in, from the muck and tears, and darknesses we were blinded by and gave us new light, and new perspective. It reminded us of the good and of the Lord’s faithfulness, and of the truly bittersweet nature of this life.

And here I am now having just finished Bread & Wine, with those same girls, now begging me to send them my copy when I am finished so they can sneak a peak before their copies reach their doors. As we sat around the table tonight eating Shauna’s Basic Risotto and giving updates, I couldn't feel more at home, or at peace, or in the presence of God. Just eating, and sharing honest bits of food and of life together really is one of the most spiritual things we can do. Bread & Wine is gently calling me out. Reminding me what is needed at my core. Begging me to slow down and just be, and love, and eat. And as we caught up and drank red wine and finished our meal with vanilla ice cream swirled with cookie butter that night I was reminded of the chapter in Bread & Wine, A Bass Player's Birthday and this gem within it:

"But that night wasn't about the food. The food and the table and the laughter helped to create sacred space, a place to give someone the gift of words. That's what the night was about-- sacred space and words of love. Well, that and fresh raspberry ice cream." 

sacred space & words of love. 

Something each of us girls needed and provided that night together, around the table. Thanks Shauna for the beautiful reminder, and for the invitation for this group of girls to slow down, to love, and to eat. 

Danielle Nicole.

"My prayer is that we'll find ourselves drawn closer and closer to the heart of the story, the beautiful, beating heart of it all, that the chaos around us and within us will recede, and the most important things will be clear and lovely at every turn. I pray that we'll understand the transforming power that lies in saying no, because it's an act of faith, a tangible demonstration of the belief that you are so much more than what you do. I pray that we'll live with intention, hope, and love in this wild season and in every season, and that the God who loves us will bring new life to our worn-out hearts this year and every year, that we'll live, truly and deeply, in the present, instead of waiting, waiting, waiting for perfect." 

--Shauna Niequist, Bread & Wine.

"Gather the people you love around your table and feed them with love, honesty, and creativity. Feed them with your hands and the flavors and smells that remind you of home and beauty and the best stories you've ever heard, the best stories you've ever lived."

--Shauna Niequist, Bread & Wine.

Dream Big.

"You can never outdream God"

God is so big.
So why do we always feel like our dreams are too much, too big, too unattainable.
Our God is infinite in size and in love and in power. The end.

Dream Bigger.


Danielle Nicole.

Simple Reminders.

I need to be reminded often of people's love for me.  True confessions.

All my fears seem to stem from my biggest, binding fear of abandonment.
I am so afraid that I am not good enough, or that I am not working hard enough for my friends love, all the time. I catch myself recently so frequently bound by a fear of losing the interest of those dear to me.

But today the cutest little card found itself in my mailbox, and within minutes of that my eyes were met with the sweetest simple text from a dear far-away friend. It is in moments like these that I am confronted with the lies I let myself believe. It is reminders like these of people's love for me that I am able to see truth clearly. Even little acts of intention seem to bring a wealth of freedom to a bound heart.
This such freedom was given to me today in these simple, yet invaluable, gifts of affirmation. & it is from that freedom I have received that I am beyond encouraged to write messages to those I love and who bless my life. A pay it forward revelation of sorts.

So friends, don't keep silent today. Tell someone what they mean to you. Tell your friends you love them. Choose to be intentional. It really could be freedom someone really needs today.


Love you guys,


Danielle Nicole.

Another November.

You were the first person close to me that wasn't over the age of 80 in my life to go.
You were the first person I had to see beat their parents to the kingdom.
You were the first person who brought many people of my past in a room of dark skirts and damp eyes.
You were the first person to move away to a new city when we were children.
You were the first person to teach me how to craft for every holiday.
You were the first person who told me I should love books.
You were my first friend.
You were beautiful.

Julie,
I am learning this year that it doesn't matter how many more years go by, November 9th I am always going to wake up feeling a little heavier in my chest. I am always going to listen to Maroon 5 and the Fray. I am always going to scrunch my nose a little extra. I am always going to craft in your honor. I am always going to sneak away for a moment to feel sad, and I am always going to remember this day. Dance with the King for me today, & I'll dance here; in my living room, with my holiday socks and project out, in your honor. You're beautiful and you're still so loved. I miss you.



Danielle Nicole.

Vocal Heart.

Speak your heart out.


I don't believe in regretting.
I believe there are appropriate & inappropriate times for things to be said.
I don't believe we should hold back because of fear.
I choose to not believe in fear: of rejection, of failure, & of pain.
I believe in love.
I do not believe love is boxed into that giddy, butterfly, space of oneself.
I believe in fighting for what you love.
& I do not believe in ruined friendships over speaking your heart: Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind. (Thanks Dr. Suess, wise man.)


What I want most in this life of mine, is to be loved with an honest love.
I don't mean that what I want most is to find the perfect guy & for him to love & obsess over me.
No, I want honesty, I want loyalty, I want laughter, I want imperfection. I just want someone to like me, to know that, and to choose to try, or to fight for me.

I am difficult. Independent beyond reason. I don't settle. I believe in a good, healthy confrontation. I am bold, fierce, and in all of this, I can be intimidating.
This I know about myself.

But in all of that, I also love with my whole self.

And it is from that love that I speak, encourage, and also confront those around me.
Not in judgment or in critique, but instead in love, and in a desire to my core to have honest and authentic relationships all around me. I want those around me to know that I love them, but not just in times of fun and frill, because love is more than butterflies, or inside jokes, or a photo reel. Love is a fight, a vulnerability, and a goal. Defensiveness should be an obstacle to climb, not a reason to bail out and run. Fight for those you love friends. & know that you are loved today, even if it is by a fiercely honest love.


Danielle Nicole.

A Name.

Dear Danielle Nicole,

Some days I think you chose me, not my mother. My mother thought you looked elegant written on the tag of a blouse in 1987. But how much can the tag of a shirt say for a girl? Apparently more than I thought as a child.

I didn’t like you very much back then. I dreamed of being called by something else with deep meaning or attributes of a person that had influenced great women of the past. I wanted you to come from a strong woman who sought to be honest, and aspired to love those around her fiercely: maybe a Marilyn, or an Eleanor. As I grew, I tried to change you to fit another role I found appealing. I introduced you to others as Dani. As Dani you seemed fun, curious, and unique. I thought I could improve you by changing you, but you knew we were fit from the start regardless of my shallow opinions of you. You knew I would one day grow into your strength and poise.

Over the last 6-7 years you have changed me. You have shined light on a part of you I couldn’t see before. You have led me to believe in dreams, in fears, and in accomplishments. You remind me to believe in laughter. I have grown into your desire for exploring and for all things that float and sparkle. If you were an object you would be a balloon because you love to rise to the occasion and to lead when there is opportunity for growth. If you were a song you might play loudly Beyonce’s “Single Ladies,” because your heart leans towards encouraging women to know their worth. Your love language is writing and that language echoes your love for those around you. Words of affirmation and of excitement for life and adventure seep through you. If you were a color you would be gold because you value life to it’s fullest potential and your worth isn’t found in temporary light. You mean: “God is my Judge, Victory of the people,” and this meaning has shown its face in you more and more each year. You seek many adventures and goals to accomplish, but ultimately judged not by any peer, or scholar, but instead, judged by God alone. Even as I shy away from roles of leadership from time to time, you push me towards them. In each step you lead me towards an even fuller potential of myself and now as I see your true meaning and worth. I will walk with you to every next chapter, thank you for the ways you have shaped and continue to shape me.

Love,

Danielle Nicole.

Bildungsroman.

Isn't it funny how things that we could never imagine happening to us, tend to end up happening?
I never imagined myself experiencing many of the things I have in the past 5 years,
especially never did I think I would pursue a career in teaching.
I even remember, ironically, telling someone who suggested the field to me years ago that I was not cut out for that, & that I was on the road to get out of the classroom, hence graduation, not go back to it for a living.
Ha!
Ha is all I have to say to myself right now as I slave behind huge books of literature! Ancient, modern, english, latin, american, prose, poetry, biography, even bildungsroman novels! What?! What does that even mean & how did I get to this position where I must know & be tested on a word and piece of literature described like that???

I guess it goes back to my last semester of undergrad at Azusa Pacific University when I really needed an internship & a friend of mine, also a youth pastor at a church, really needed a helping hand. When I volunteered as a youth leader/mentor I had no intention of getting completely and wholly swallowed up and spit out onto a path in which my heart is completely passionate. The love I have for the students I have now & have had over the years is a crazy love. A love I can only do justice in comparing it to a parental love. I want to protect them with everything I have, guide them in anyway I can, and support them with my whole self. I'm telling you, this love for my students makes me feel like I have 20 kids at times & want what's best for each one of them. Talk about a crazy passion!
I love the part of the life-learning process a high schooler is in. Learning strategies for academic learning and studying, but also learning about becoming who they want to grow to be. Choosing moral standing, style, hobbies to lead to career ideas, what makes their passions peak, & what disappoints them in relationships. These things all start to become real, and serious areas of thought and experiment in high school and I love seeing this process begin. I love walking in areas of confusion, or moments of passion, and even in phases of complete suck, and yes that is the best term for it. Just to acknowledge these students as valid and important and encourage them in dreaming big & living in action really pours out of a part of my heart I didn't even know existed years ago. But as this part of me flows more freely and overflows in other areas of my life as I begin to go to school to pursue a further career involved in student life I realize I am not just mentoring the growth of the student. But they are also walking with me in my own story, my own learning, and my own suck at times. Teaching me what moral standings I prioritize in myself, and in what ways I am gifted in teaching & where I need practice. Grooming me towards a place where I can see myself teaching a class, learning with the students I will teach, and loving that process.

& That my friends, is a small, acorn size piece, of my own bildungsroman story. A formation story, or coming of age story, the focus on the psychological and moral growth of the main character. Cheers to each of your own bildungsroman stories!


Danielle Nicole.

Insp[eye]red.

As I reflect this morning on the people I have met in the last few weeks overseas I am reminded of a post I began over a year ago, more of a continuous thought really, titled "Insp-eye-red." These thoughts began from the connection of simple, yet sacred moments of eye contact with those around me and as I sit here reflecting my time in Africa I am most fondly remembering most intimate moments of eye contact.

I remember these moments best because eyes are powerful.
They are honest, & profound.
They speak words that the tongue cannot express & the body does not give justice to.
"Eyes are the window to the soul" said an old English Proverb,
& I firmly agree with this picture and the idea that eyes lead beyond a body.

People's eyes move me.
Move me to a place of intimate emotion and of curiosity to know more,
to feel more.
Eyes speak big stories.
Stories of loss & struggle,
Of pain, and abandon, and hunger.
But those same eyes, they also speak of a love.
A deep joyful love that seeps out and infects those eyes who meet theirs.

Children,
with no shoes,
a torn dress 3 sizes too big,
but with eyes full of joy and a longing for you to smile when looking at them,
to accept them and embrace them with eyes which look back with a joy and love for who they are.
Because life doesn't need new shoes, and ice, and running showers daily.
Life is improved by luxuries, even the smallest ones yes.
but what life needs,
is love.
is joy.
is hope.
And that is where my prayers begin,
with the hope, and the joy, and the love of those eyes whom met my own.



Danielle Nicole.

The Bind.

"'Cause even the stars they burn
Some even fall to the earth

We've got a lot to learn

God knows we're worth it

No, I won't give up

I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily

I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make

Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use

The tools and gifts we got yeah,"

Oh Jason, what a lady killer. 
But seriously. This song is absolutely beautiful. Such a sweet, love song full of truth and flooding with an image of the fight in love. & as much as the next girl, I have fallen head over heels for this song and the way it sings to every girls desire to have a man fight for her and not abandon her in the darkness of this life. & As that part of my heart is deeply felt when I hear this song come on, today I heard it and it wasn't singing to me from my someday boy (whoever you are out there).  It was as if my heart was screaming inside me through this song, desiring with its entirety to hear this from those near me, those who consider me a friend, a sister, a mentor, a romance, a daughter, those I need dearly. 
A longing inside for this song to be my roommates letting me know they won't give up on us. For it to be my mother reminding me that God knows we're worth it. For it to be my Dad telling me he doesn't want to be someone who walks away so easily.  For a boy to be telling me no, he won't give up. & For friends to decide they're here to stay and make the differences we can make. 


This song put my biggest fear into current perspective. I am terrified of abandonment. I have endured abandonment of all shapes & sizes. Abandonment by circumstances, by death, by differences in opinion, and by choice, & I have come to decide that none are easy, at least for me. Right now I am in a season of my own darkness of being bound my this fear. It rules my heart and dictates my thoughts, allowing me to believe a ton of lies about who I am & who I am growing to be. Lies that tell me I am never going to be good enough. Lies that tell me I am always going to do something that pushes away those in my life. Lies that demand loneliness. Lies that tell me I am the only reason for the abandonment I have experienced. 
This song sings so deeply into myself because it sings the things I long for the most; a loyalty & fight for my worth. 
& Yet daily I am trying to conquer these lies when they have already been conquered for me. 
All I have to do is believe that. 
Believe in truth. 
Truths that worth, and beauty, 
and strength are at my core. 
Truths that speak of how much beauty and worth 
is in pain and struggle. 
Truths that speak against lies of ugliness and of failure. 
I need these truths right now. 


Today I choose to believe.
Because,  I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not, And who I am.
& I won't give up.


Be free.
Choose truth.
Love beyond reason.


This is what I want today.




Danielle Nicole.

Discipline Shmiscipline.

Today I did the most incredibly anti-danidavis thing ever I think. I post-poned going to the Happiest Place on Earth to meet my cousins for the Leap Year Day event, to take a nap, but even more.... to run. I know I know, not a Dani Davis qualifying action, but yes, this did just happen. I actually just got done with my run now & well, it feels good, but not because my body loves running (yet), or because this particular run felt good or easy, because it didn't. No, it was hard & I got bored & tired: fact.
But it feels good right now to say to myself that I made a commitment & I am going to remain bound to that. I mean, that's what it means to commit right? To stick with something even in the trials and rough, thick parts of life, or in my case right now through sore hips and tiresome, hard-to-begin runs around my neighborhood. It is more than an accomplishment to commit to anything, especially to those things you don't love all the time but which also evolve you into a better version of yourself. I think if we could all  follow through on more of the things we commit to in our lives we could easily watch ourselves stride towards a higher potential.

 So here I sit, ready to nap, ice on my hips, water within arms reach to cheers to the day when I can say I held out, or held on to this commitment, to the day when I will be glad I chose running over longer naps and longer disneyland days,  and to the day when I walk across a hard finish line & know that discipline is freeing, cheers.


Danielle Nicole.

Cue in Alanis Morrisette.

Irony is a hilarious concept.

It seriously never fails that once you put your foot down & decide on something for your life, the opposites of what you are deciding tend to start creeping in, or working against all odds. & I feel like this is especially true during the season of lent. Just when you decide you are going to give up Facebook for Lent, some insane deal that you can only get by liking a company's Facebook page occurs, or you give up chocolate & you happen to win a months supply of free See's, or you give up men & the one you wonder about decides he wants to let you in. The irony. 

But this irony is one that holds power. The power of testing us and our ability to choose what we want in the immediate, or what we want in the long run. A test of impulse vs. discipline, because the things we wanted at a moment would come to our fingertips when we decide to take a step back & withdraw from them, go figure. These moments of irony bring us to a cross road of choosing what we think is best, choosing what is important to us. Choosing if we just want immediacy, or if we want to wait the good wait if it brings better for us.

What is important to me are the people in my life.  The people who fill my thoughts and my heart, the ones who walk with me, who live lives parallel, but also perpendicular to my own. Ones who live next to me daily, but also those who live across the country, or even the globe. People who have stories and life to them that make my own story so much more valuable and intimate. I want these people to be happy, to be filled, to be cared for and for them to know it. In this desire for those in my life, I want to be someone who is synonymous to this, who adds joy and who brings care to their lives. In order for me to do this I am learning I must also take care of myself. If I'm honest, I wish I could take care of others & I would follow in place with magic care taken of myself. But if I'm real, that's not how it works.

No, in order for me to bring joy and care to those in my life, I must take a step back and look at how to best care for them. And that's what I did this year when this Lent season came. I don't choose to fast or add something every year, but this year a desire to be physically healthy with an calm, open heart weighed in my mind as a way to extend my ability to care for those in my life. My response to this was a motivation to follow through on this desire that has stirred inside me for quite some time now. I have a heart that has experienced a wealth of trauma, loss, and pain, but that same heart has a tremendous amount of resilience, or fight, for why it beats; for those dear to me. So really, I think I owe it to the strength of my heart and the way it continues to surprise me with strength and more fight than I could have ever imagined myself to have 5 years ago, to really motivate myself in physical health, as well as guarding my heart to allow for a peace and openness to replace the fears and the flight. Even if in the middle of this decision, my body begs me to sleep instead of run, and my insecurities beg me to seek momentary attention from men instead of waiting it out and remembering my worth. I owe it to my resilient heart and my desire to ultimately be someone who brings deep care and joy to those in my life, to exercise and run in this season and to wait the good wait, seeking respect and a reminder of worth for myself.

I think I may even owe all the past pain, & future pain while I'm at it, a thank you down the road, for teaching my heart how to fight, how to not lose hope, and how to love so deeply. 

They say the best things are worth fighting for, right? 

Isn't it ironic, don'tcha think?

Danielle Nicole.

A Manfast & Running.

Lent 2012.
A Manfast & Running.
Two things that make me feel defeated & unworthy.

At this moment in my life I desire deep to the core of me to be respected, and in my realization of this, I have come to terms with the fact that I am also in need of respecting myself, especially my health. I have a habit of being distracted by busyness, and life ramblings, and even, in unflattering moments, distracted by what people think about myself, so distracted that I forget to take care of me. I want to respect myself & my blessing of health by pushing myself to run.

Running, as many of you know, is often referred to by myself as my arch nemesis. We do not get along, period.  However, amidst the battle of aches, pains, and longing for a pool of water either to drink or to slip into in escape, I have this deep secret desire to run. This desire lies when I am not in the act of running, the moments when I find myself urged to sign up for a half marathon, a desire to one day say I have ran one. And in response to that desire within, and a respect for my body, and my health, these next 40 days I want to implement a routine of exercise, and specifically running.

The fast I have chosen for myself for this years lent tradition, is well, let's just get it out there on the world wide web table: men. [synonyms: boys, dudes, guys, bros, male, just in case you needed clarification] Now men out there, this is not a dig on you, or a heart-broken girl vent session. No, this is simply me realizing I deserve more respect from many men in my life, as well as desire complete utter respect from any guy in my future who comes to desire a future with me by his side. I have definitely become guilty of allowing myself to think & feel that I am unworthy of love & respect, as a result of believing lies and disrespect shown towards me through many men I encounter, even at times without their knowledge of doing so. In response to this part of my life, I don't want to hate, or to slam boys. I just want to guard my heart a little better, in order to remind myself of a worth I should feel for myself.

Dear the next 40 days,

In you I will seek achievement, discipline, and freedom. From you I expect and seek challenge, truth, and joy. I think we can really impact each other 40 days, let's get real with one another. Ready set go, Day one is already conquered. Now for round two. 

See you then,

Danielle Nicole.

2012.

Dear 2012,

You are quite something do you know that? You have such an energy about you that surges with excitement, potential, and hope. The limitlessness of your possibilities, your dreams, your sunrises and sunsets. The potential of such good, such growth, such joy to become of you is something that is longed for, especially in these last weeks of a year. 2012, you look at me now with faint images of possibility: Dear friends visiting, A 24th year to be celebrated, A time capsule to be opened in July, a possible trip to Africa finances willing, Students graduating high school, a credential program to be admitted into, new things to be experienced, to be learned, and to ultimately, be loved.


In the spirit of the age-old new year tradition of resolution and urge to better one's lifestyle at the turn of a year, some things I want for myself right now are that,

I want to be aware of the way I affect those around me
I want to read at least 20 books
I want to curse less (oops, complete honest confession)
I want to train for a half marathon, ah, big step for me. haha
I want to be ever more true, honest, and genuine.
I want to add to this list all year because, while starting a new year is exctiting and there's no denying it, it is not the only time I want to be better, or to grow, or to try something new. I want to be in constant resolution of my life towards its greater potential, ever-changing, & ever-delighting.


Danielle Nicole.

Rites of Passage.

On a twitter note still, a great friend of mine tweeted some great words this week to his world of followers. He wrote, 


"It should be a right of passage for boys to continuously study Song of Solomon in order to become Men. #RealTalk" 


Now first off, what I love most about this is simply that it is the thought of a guy. Not another of the too-many-too-count mentions from the unsatisfied woman, which I know I can count myself as being in the category of women who are guilty of posting something about the lack of men & surplus of boys in our lives before. Guilty as charged. But that's what makes this post that much more intriguing to me. This comment of critique towards boys of our society is not formed as a nag or a gripe, but instead as an encouragement, or a challenge; a man-challenge, if you will. (I also think you should know I completely said this out loud as I thought & typed it, with extra man-voice emphasis on the "man-challenge" part, just to get the mental picture of my brain process with this) 


This man-challenge, wherever it may have spurred from inside my friend's mind and heart lead to the Bible, specifically, Song of Solomon (or Song of Songs in some translations) This is a book entirely focused on love & relationship. A play-by-play of courtship to marriage, if I may summarize. Now there are many different interpretations of the symbolization of the lyrics, whether is it referring to Woman loving Man, God loving Israel, or God loving humankind. All of which are, awesome to think about, but do not add or take away from the great picture of love that is painted in the words of this book. This book is about a pursuit, a respect, and a cherished desire for another. In these words we see that women were created, & long, to be pursued. And also it is pictured that men have in turn a desire to lead and to pursue, and to be respected. This is what love was created to be; something beautiful, something full of respect, and something ultimately desired and pursued. 


In conclusion of my thoughts on this delectable food for thought this week, is that it should also be a rite of passage for girls to continuously read & learn from Song of Solomon to become Women, who are classy, respectable, and modest, allowing Men to lead & pursue them. 


#Thinkaboutit




Danielle Nicole.

Tweet Tweet #Tweeting.

"I really value honesty, a good book, & laughter. #FactsAboutMe"

Oh Twitter, what would we do without good trending hashtags to guide our hourly updates? Obviously we wouldn't survive, at least without good momentary thoughts, & even some very giggle-worthy trending topics, always up to date by the minute of new happening events. I'm pretty sure it only took something like 72 seconds for #Thingslongerthankimkardashianswedding to surface as a trending topic, oh wait 72 was a number for something else.... uhhh... too soon? haha okay but with all seriousness, when in doubt or in a dull moment there is always the helpful trending suggestion such as this one from a few days ago: #FactsAboutMe.

Although I usually glance at the trending topics, maybe have a good chuckle over some, my typical response is to disregard them & go about my day. But this one made me think. With only 140 characters, what kinds of things do you say about yourself? Something funny? The most interesting fact? Something that does not require explanation? As simple as the tag sounded, 140 character facts about me can get a little tricky. I settled upon a tweet of the first 3 words that came to my mind when I said, "Okay Dani who are you?" Honesty. Books. Laughing. Those three things are what I want forever&ever&everamen.

To the very core of who I am I value honesty. I want people in my life who choose to be honest with me. Especially when choosing honesty is much harder than an alternate option. That is when I feel the most loved & the most valued by another. Through my own learning process I have truly learned the value & respect you give to someone when you choose the harder route of pure honesty. Telling a friend the things they don't want to hear, but that are honest shows the character and depth of friendship. Anyone can tell you what you want to hear, or can say nice things to make you smile, but someone who really truly, deeply cares about who you are will tell you the things that make you cry, or make you angry, but in return teach you about yourself, and your walk in life. These kind of friends make you better, & it is the hard parts of life that grow us into more profound, considerate, and elegant people.

Now beyond honesty, you may as well see me as a nerdy comedy. Beyond honesty I just need a good book and laughter. I want to read what other's have to say. What they think, feel, see of this world. Reading someone's writing, even fiction is getting a peak into their soul, their character, their childhood mind even. So much can be seen of author's in their writing & I want to soak that all up. & after I have soaked up words upon words upon words, my next wish is to just laugh. Just to sit with friends or family, or coworkers, and laugh. Simply own up to joy & to silliness, and to how good life can really get, by just letting it out, out loud.  My cousin, E, & I are on this new kick of the.... drum roll please.... Heytell Voicechanger. (what? you thought it was going to be something profound? Download it, I swear it will change your life.) She & I could, and sometimes do, spend hours talking back & forth in little blurbs sounding like chipmunks, or Yezma from The Emperor's New Groove, when she's a cat. The best part is that every other message is just completely a squeeky, silly, chipmunk-y laughter exploding from the speakerphone, which in turn calls for another episode of laughing at the silliness of the chipmunk laughter.  So silly, yet so necessary. This is what my ultimate world looks & feels like; honest, thoughtfilled, and hilarious.


& to think, allllllll because of a Twitter trend, #thankGodfortwitter.

Amen.




Danielle Nicole.

Twin Hearts.

This girl.

She has always looked up to me. However, I find this rather curious because she has been such a huge role model in my own life for years, which is possibly unknown to her, which leads me to want to share her impact in my life even more.

Because,

this girl is breathtaking, she is smart, her heart is huge, and she has a fierce strength in her that I definitely envy in my ever so frequent moments of weakness. I love the way she lives and learns to the ultimate potential that she can. Living by trial & error, always trying something to learn if she loves it, or if it wasn’t her best life decision, but nonetheless always learning.

Something about the way she dives head on straight into life always drives me to a deeper admiration and desire to pursue that strength and confidence she carries. She is not afraid to be herself, or to change herself as she pleases according only to her liking of herself, not to anyone else’s. And this is why I look up to her, no matter how much older I am. I admire her bravery, & want to encourage her bold, pure love for life and all that it can offer in every way I can. I may have taught her things she loves & appreciates, but I continue to grow into a better version of myself the more & more our relationship grows together. Even in mistakes & seasons of distance and miscommunication, I couldn’t thank God more for her in my life.

Her truth, her humor, and her constant love for me are ridiculous & I am a better person because I have experienced these from her on a radical level.

So thank you E. You make my life more full of life and laughter, & that, is a beautiful thing.

Danielle Nicole.

DavisWhitakerStraubCoyDimanligHongCross

These are the names that make up my family.
These are the names that make up alot of the foundation of who I am.
These names are so dear to me, so intimate, so
The last name on the list was added Friday, and boy was it added with celebration!

Here it is almost Wednesday & I am still missing every second of that wedding night! (shameless plug: 11-11-11 Congrats Michele & Tony Cross!)
What a wonderful celebration with such crazy, fun, memorable family & friends.  Such a taste of why I am the way I am, & why I want to be just that, a solid reminder to embrace even the craziest, or even most embarrassing moments with those in my family. From bridal party duties, car rides to pick up the best dates everrrr, decorating hotel rooms for after parties, the ceremony itself, then the dance floor, and all the way to jumping on the bed with your mom in a hotel room with fiesta decorations, this was one of those kind of weekends you never forget & wish would've lasted a couple more days, (or years, let's get real.) Even in the moments of obnoxious laughter (Mom do I need to say names? hahah), or interestingly borderline sexual jokes spoken by your father, or even the infamous donald duck voice used frequently by him as well (Way to go Dad, hogging all the embarrassing Dani duties), the joy and care and intimacy of family bonds and the way we have shaped each other & continue to grow in relationship with eachother weighs so much heavier in memory.

When I look back & see my baby cousin in a tuxedo & a wagon, or my brother giving his coat to his precious girlfriend. My beautiful cousin in the most breath-taking dress walking down an isle, an adorable flower girl who wants to be my best friend and dance-partner for life. Or my date dance with my mom on the dance floor making her feel young again, while also allowing me to swing dance with my dad, like I used to when I was little & he taught me. These are the memories that make me want that weekend back. It's something about the way that my date laughed through the embarrassing moments of my family event, laughing with my mother with a kind of laugh that isn't out of good manners, but instead from deep within, when humor subsides awkward or embarrassment, but is pure and full of joy. Something about sitting at my Aunt's house & watching cheesy christmas movies, & eating both peppermint & gingerbread pudding just to decide which is better, while the whole time too exhausted to think, but loving the weekend too much to want to leave & go home to bed. Something about leaving the weekend to come back to reality, but still wearing the scarf from the Bride as a gift in a last hope to hold on to the emotion of the weekend.

Love,
Joy,
& Family, old & new.

Welcome to the family Tony.


Danielle Nicole.